The Language of Your Body
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Despite 2020 being a year of repetitive traumas and collective stress, we can build resilience and promote stability and ease. As Dr. King puts so beautifully, accept the inevitable stumbling blocks and never lose hope for long lasting change. Easier said than done! Right now we are at risk of getting caught in the fight, flight, freeze which makes acceptance and hope very difficult to access. Good news: skills of body awareness and compassion have been repeatedly shown to down regulate the stress response and activate our internal safety network. This article includes education along with tangible skills to promote ease, support sleep, digestion, and overall well-being. And trust me, you have time! These can be integrated into everyday life.
In order to cultivate body awareness and compassion, it’s helpful to understand what’s happening on the inside. Dr. Stephen Porges coined the term Neuroception, the brain’s ability to detect safety. Your brain has sophisticated brain scanners rapidly evaluating incoming information and, before you can blink, a chemical response is initiated in the body. For example, while reading the news your heart rate and breath shift up or down depending on the content of what you are reading. The body also responds to facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and more (referenced article). All of this happens in the body! Neuroception is adaptive and protective. It’s helpful when there is an actual threat, yet problematic when we are living in a society of chronic stress.
Whew, that’s a lot of science. It’s helpful to have some understanding to build skills, but intellectually understanding is not enough to intervene and promote wellness. Our thinking mind is limited in it’s capacity to connect to stress. We must turn our attention inward and connect to the inherent wisdom of the body.
I find it helpful to lean on nature when I shift from the thinking mind and connect to the heart. In early fall we went to our local nursery to buy fruit trees. As we were picking out a variety of fruit, our friend and master gardener informed us we needed two apple trees. They can’t survive alone. Furthermore, they must be planted close enough for bees to easily travel between the two. Here I was, reminded yet again, of the interconnection of all beings. Did you know that our entire ecosystem would collapse without bees? 90 of our beloved foods - almonds, apples, blueberries, avocados, and more - all rely on bees to survive (Bee Culture). How does this magic happen? It is a bees ability to see color that draws them into flowers. The vibrant colors of nature are not simply for our pleasure; the plants intuitively know they must attract bees to ensure the safety of our ecosystem. And there, nestled in the womb of the flower, while getting drunk on nectar, bees pick up pollen and transfer that to the next destination. Thus, feeding the world.
What does this have to do with health and wellness? This natural intuitive wisdom lies within you. You were designed to thrive and there is nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately it’s easy to get disconnected from this truth. Our culture keeps us at an arms length from the natural world. The consequence? For me, I can get stuck craving control. Trapped in an illusion that I need to DO something or BE something to thrive. My mind is busy with “shoulds” and my body’s wisdom momentarily forgotten.
Pause for a moment, become aware of your body. Consider your heart beating, your food digesting, and these sophisticated lungs expanding and deflating. Let your shoulders soften. We are making space. As we let go of any striving or worrying, is there space to listen to your body’s language?
Then what?
The body communicates through heart rate, tension, breathing, restlessness, and more. We must honor and listen to these messages. They are here for a reason. We are not looking to “fix” what is happening inside us, it’s not broken! Organicity, a concept coined by amazing philosopher, anthropologist and scientist Gregory Bateson, is the idea of inner wisdom. That when our whole body is communicating, the system naturally self-directs and self-corrects. Just like the bees, when they are guided by intuition they promote the health of our ecosystem. Just like the flowers, when they allow their natural beauty to shine, bees are more likely to pollinate. Organicity speaks to the idea that we each have a unique intelligence, we are all connected, and we need each other. As we slow down and listen, we are readying ourselves to respond in a way that promotes health and wellness.
So how do we discover our unique intelligence?
We simply slow down, pay attention, and respond with kindness. When I notice my heart is beating fast, I bring a hand to my heart and gently ask myself, “what’s happening, how am I doing?” The rapid heart rate could be from something right in front of me, or potentially something is triggered from the past. For example, I am having significant anxiety leading up to this election. Flashbacks of the night Trump won 4 years ago intermittently coming back to me. So my heart is telling me something - I’m scared - and I listen with kindness so as not to live inside that fear, and certainly not to operate from that fear.
Now, more than ever, we need to batten down the hatches. We need to sail into the storm with a deep connection to self and others so that we can engage in this chapter with open hearts and wise minds. We want to show up for the next generation with some ease and leadership. This requires responding to whatever is showing up inside us with love and tenderness. It’s arising for a reason. Here are two strategies along with audio meditation. We can do this together my friends, you are not alone.
Take away skills
ANT
Acknowledge, Name, Turn to Love
Acknowledge: Listen to your feelings and physical sensations with respect. Acknowledge them, they are valid and informative.
Name: Name the experience with deep kindness. Breathe into your heart and gently note, “sad, fearful, constricted, tense, defensive, lonely…”
Turn towards Love: Turn towards tenderness and love within and/or around you. Bring a hand to your heart, connect with a loved one, feel the earth supporting you. Provide yourself with loving presence.
Embodied Listening
Place your hands on your low belly, breathe into your hands. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6 counts.
Gently ask yourself (out loud or internally), in a soft, kind voice, how am I doing? Let your body respond. Do you notice any physical sensations that might inform you? Maybe a tight jaw and shoulders, possibly nausea or low back pain. Simply notice, nothing to fix here.
Imagine your breath is warm, reddish, and deeply kind. Imagine it flowing through your body like a gentle breeze. Holding your experience with deep kindness.
Click link below for guided meditation:
With Love,
Ellen Slater, LICSW, YT-200
Founder